Jack's birth story is a little different than my other two. I got epidurals with the other two and had no idea what I was doing or what I wanted. And I'm totally happy with how they went!  I wasn't ready for anything different at the time.  But for some reason I really felt like I needed to go natural with this one. I had friends and sisters/inlaws that had gone natural before but it had never been something I ever wanted to do. I was just fine getting all numbed up! No one could convince me to try it.
       Then one day when Stevie was about 8 weeks old, I was doing hair and the client that came that day had just had her baby as well and we shared our birth stories. I don't know what it was that day, but during her story I felt strongly that I needed to go natural with my next one. It was the first time ever that I actually had the desire to try it (which is key!). We talked about how powerful the mind is and how our bodies are capable of so much more than our minds allow us to do. I believe that's true because I've always been so mental about everything in my life! "Oh I can't run more than 3 miles, that feels too far!"  "I could never run a half marathon! Those people are crazy!" "I can't have a baby without an epidural!" So I committed to myself that day that I would do it and that I wouldn't change my mind.  I would prove to myself that my mind could be powerful and overcome my body.
     A few months later when I got pregnant I never changed my mind about delivering naturally. Anxiety about it came and went but I knew I wasn't going to back out. John would occasionally ask me if I had changed my mind and I would say nope! I can't. So I started watching birth videos and reading stories and looking for ways to cope with the pain. I must have watched and read everything out there! I came across this hypnobabies website and felt really good about it. It all went hand in hand with everything I had been thinking. It sounded silly when I'd explain it to someone else and at first I wasn't sure if I was going to listen to these tracks and end up getting hypnotized to believe something weird. But it wasn't like that at all!  I ordered the at home 5 week course and did everything it said and then did it again. I read that work book at least 3 times cover to cover and made sure I was really prepared for this. I learned so much about pregnancy and labor and everything to prepare for it and how to be informed and empowered in my decision making. The point of hypnobabies is to teach your body and mind how to relax so deeply that your muscles can relax and work more efficiently instead of tensing up, causing more pain and fear. I figured that if anything, at least it helped me relax more during my pregnancy so even if labor was bad then it had been worth it! I think it was my most peaceful and happy pregnancy.
       Now fast forward to the actual labor. I never in a million years planned on getting induced! My labor started on its own with the other two so I figured since this was my 3rd baby and my body had done it before that everything would be fine. I'd never been more than a few days late and I really wanted labor to start on its own so I could do this intervention free.  But when I was a week late and we set the induction date for the next day, I surprisingly felt really good about it. I got everything all prepped and done the day before and we had one last day to hang out just the 4 of us.
         We headed for the hospital Sunday morning at 630 am but I didn't get all hooked up and started until 8 30am. I was nervous about the pitocin because I had had it with the other two and it makes things super intense! So we started at the lowest dose and hoped it would get things going, but it didn't. We turned it up slowly and eventually got to the highest level which is 20. I still wasn't feeling a whole lot so at 1230pm Doc Carn came in and broke my water to get things going and I was at a 3. I finally started having more consistent contractions and began to dilate. I listened to some hypnobabies and used the techniques I learned from that and it really helped! By 4pm I was at a 6. Things were getting more intense but still manageable and I was just hoping it wouldn't take until midnight for him to come. I think around 430pm I was still at a 6 and the nurse told me that if I got an epidural it would just relax the baby right out of me since it was my 3rd. I was a little annoyed that she offered but just didn't reply. I started feeling shaky, cold, and tired. I remember just wanting to lay down and go to sleep but that was impossible at the time! I knew that these were signs of transition so I was hopeful but still didn't think I would dilate very fast.  She told me to call her in if I felt different or wanted to be checked. It started to get extremely intense at this point so time here gets a little fuzzy but it wasn't long before I wanted to be checked again and she told me I was at an 8. I remember asking her if she was lying but she reassured me that she wasn't and that she'd get in tons of trouble if she lied about that. (I don't know why I didn't believe her!) But right after that check she told me again that an epidural would help and that it would be my last chance. I was annoyed because I told her upfront what my goal was and she wasn't being helpful at all! So I told her to stop offering me one and that I would be so mad at myself for getting an epidural at an 8 because I knew I was so close and that I could do it. At this point I probably looked like I was dying which is maybe why she kept offering. I could no longer relax through my contractions. It felt better to clench my teeth and flex every muscle in my body. I had to hold on to the bed or Johns hand and just squeeze as hard as I possibly could and just make it through each one. By the last 10 or so contractions I had to hum/growl/squeal through them.  John was doing everything I asked and being so helpful but I didn't know what I wanted! One second it helped if he touched my forehead or shoulder and the next I was pushing him away from me, but he was awesome! Exactly what I needed.
          I started to feel more pressure down there so I called the nurse in and I was at a 9. She said she would guess that the baby would be out in the next 15 minutes but not to quote her on that. (He was born like 4 min later thank goodness!) So needless to say, things moved fast from there and I started pushing involuntarily. She told me I was complete (at a 10) but kept telling me not to push because the doc wasn't there yet. I ignored her because there was no way my body could stop! She could tell I was pushing and holding my breath, so she got on the phone and said, "Code white! Code white! We need extra hands in here!"
           A nurse ran in immediately and luckily Doctor Carn was right behind her! He was in his church clothes but didn't have time to change so he just put his scrubs on over the top and came right over to help. I pushed a few times and he was out!  It was all so different than I expected but it was for sure a relief for me to push! I felt the "ring of fire" for a split second and was grateful when it passed. My body completely took over and did its thing. It was crazy. I was so glad when it was over and so happy that he was actually here!  When I saw jack, I said that he was so little and probably littler than Stevie (who was 7 lbs 10 oz) and my doctor said he had to be at least 8lbs 14-15 oz.  I thought there was no way! Then they weighed him and he was 9lbs 1oz! I couldn't believe it. I guess it shouldn't have been as surprising since he was 8 days late!
         He was born at 5:13pm so it was only 30-45 min of extreme pain. I swore right after it was over that I would never do that again, but by the next day I was already saying I probably would, but only if my body went into labor on its own next time!  I'm just happy that I was able to have such a good experience this time. I told myself for so long that I was going to have a natural birth that when it came down to it there was no question about it! Even when the nurse kept offering me an epidural it wasn't even a temptation. I knew I wasn't going to get one!  I'm so grateful for the experience and so grateful that jack is here safe and sound.! He's the sweetest baby!

 

Relaxing through contractions:

 

He's here!

 

Relief

 

Our BIG boy!

 

 LOVE