I've been thinking a lot today about my role as a mother and how incredibly grateful I am for my babies and how much I've been taking them for granted lately. It's Interesting what stress and chaos will add to your life and do to your brain. I've been craving more order in my life and now I think I understand why. When I stop letting myself feel stressed and start counting my blessings instead, I feel overwhelmed by all of the many  blessings I have and then I feel awful for not recognizing all of my blessings during the stressful/hard times. Yesterday I took more time to hold Ty instead of making him walk everywhere or having him sit on my lap instead of next to me on the couch and I'm surprised how quickly his attitude changed from a couple of days ago. He kept coming up to me in sacrament meeting today and saying, "I want mommy." And he just sat and colored with me and laughed (I've missed his cute laugh!) and he didn't want anyone else.  I'm sad I haven't taken more time to just be with him the last few weeks. He's a different kid when I show him more love. And then there is Stevie. That kid is so sweet and has always loved me so much. He already wants my approval. He's so connected with me through his eye contact, he knows how to read me already.  He looks at me before doing things and when he makes me laugh it makes him so happy. He was playing with toys in relief society today and kept banging one on the wall and looking at me and laughing and one of the women sitting next to me said, "Look how much he loves you." And it's so true. He loves me despite all my imperfections.  He's so loving and sweet and laughs all the time! It's the cutest sound in the world. It's interesting when my life is crazy how hard it is to calm it down and see all the sweetness around me but once I get over that hump I can't understand how I couldn't see or feel it the whole time! I'm grateful to have the gospel in my life and for the peace it brings and the understanding I have of a Heavenly Father that loves me unconditionally and has sent me children who help me understand His pure love a little bit better. I can't imagine my life without these sweet spirits and I'm excited for a time when I get to meet even more of them! I needed the peaceful spirit I felt today and  just wanted to write down how Im feeling because my heart is full and I want my kiddos to always know how deeply I love them and I wouldn't change anything about either of them, good or bad. They're the best! Love you boys.

cuddling with my arm on different occasions. I love their cute little hands